Dude. Pare. Bro.

by Sankage Steno

Dude, did you see the match kahapon? Pare, ang galing ng basketball team namin! I tell you, bro, it was a really good match. You should have seen kung pa’no nila pinakain ng alikabok ang kalaban. I mean, ang galing talaga. Bilib na ‘ko sa Alma Mater ko. I’m so proud, dude!

Actually, pare, wala sa plan ko ang pag-watch ng game. It just so happened that I was in Moonleaf, and they have a flat screen TV there. Cool, bro! So I had no choice but to see the match. At first, hindi ko talaga pinapansin, but then I heard other students cheering for my Alma Mater. So I was like, dude, we’re from the same school! Pero, syempre, di ko sinabi yun. I don’t wanna be epal naman.

To be honest, pare, I’m not a fan of basketball, but since it’s, you know, ours, edi of course I became an instant fan. Pero ‘pag may game lang kami. If there’s none, syempre I don’t watch. Kase, bro, I find the sport too stressful. Alam mo yun, you run back and forth, then dribble, then shoot. Then you’ll have to do it over and over ulit. Dude, that’s like so draining. I’ll get sweaty and all.

Well, pare, I know some girls like guys na pawis na pawis. I understand that naman. But, still, I can’t look preppy and neat if I’m wet all over. You see, bro, it’s really not my thing. Besides, my girl likes me for who I am. Although minsan nga lang, I notice na she’s like drooling whenever she sees varsity players on the campus. I don’t get jealous naman agad, dude. Alam ko namang, she’s just crushing some popular guy, and that’s just it, a crush.

Oo nga pala, pare. Yesterday, while I was watching basketball, there were also students from the “other” school. Nakakatawa, bro. You should see their faces. Hindi mo mai-paint! Hilarious, dude. Hilarious.

And when the game ended, I was like, YEAH! We won! Astig, pare! Suddenly, we were like not strangers anymore. Bro, I’m telling you. Kahit di kami magkakakilala, we hugged each other out of sobrang tuwa. We all realized na magkaka-school kami. And, dude, the other students I told you before? They went out of the tea shop. Such sore losers! I feel so sorry for them, pare.

Pero kahit na I feel sad for them a bit, I went on to celebrate. Ang tagal kong nag-jump for joy, bro! I was really elated. And, dude, you know what happened next? Sa sobrang saya ko, I accidentally knocked my tea over. Nabasa ang Memo shirt ko. Slightly wet din, pare, yung Uniqlo pants ko. I was a mess, bro. Nakakahiya. Dyahe especially to the girls who saw it.

Nasayang din ang wintermelon tea. Favorite ko pa naman yun, bro. Swabe kasi sa taste. But sorry for me, it went to waste, along with my shirt and pants. Dude, good thing na I brought an extra Mossimo shirt and Guess pants. I always keep them in my North Face bag. Para laging handa, pare. Alam mo naman minsan, you never know when you have to sleep over… if you know what I mean, bro.

Oo, dude, I swear, I’m not kidding. I dumped my wet clothes in the trash bin. Luma na rin naman sya. I bought them two months ago pa. So, pare, wag ka nang manghinayang. I mean, I can always buy naman a new set. And besides, bro, malay mo may poor guy na makapulot. Edi nag-benefit pa sya sa tinapon ko.

I’m kind din naman even if ganito ako. O, dito ka na ba, pare? You sure? Ge, bro, kita na lang tayo bukas. I’ll bring my Spyder Yellow Lamborghini Gallardo ulit. Bye, dude!