I’m not a lahyer!

by Sankage Steno

My sagot to the “may pinag-aralan” miss in this video.

I can’t believe such a creature exists! Holy horror of horrors! It’s so nakaka-humiliate what she made sabi to the lady guard. Just because she was nasita by the diligent lady guard, she became an amazona na? Oh, and I’m apologize to the amazonas. I think they’re more sibilisado than this “may pinag-aralan” miss.

Let me quote what she made sabi: “So now your making me look like a lahyer? … So your telling me ama lahyer? Ama lahyer? AMA LAHYER?! Answer me! Ama lahyer?”

Is that you, Nicki Minaj? Erhmahgerd! I thought you was like so abala in the judging of American Idol Season to the nth level? Anyway, educated miss, your rapping is like so horrendous, it’s so kaka-irritate! Oh no, wait lang. I think you are more like Snoop Dog, pero that’s not very akma rin naman. Why, let me just call you ‘Snoop Bitch.”

And don’t you know how to make tanggap an apology? The lady guard made sorry na nga, pero what did you do? You were like so up there in the heavens above, so more than taas than God. The nerve to not make tanggap her sorry. And you were like “If I say sorry, ‘Sorry, Ate, sorry.’ Tanggap mo ‘yon?”

I mean, what uri of a person na may pinag-aralan will have that kind of logic? No, let’s not make usap about logic here, because I believe it’s lagpas to your very sophisticated understanding. It’s like, you’re so way taas-taas than anybody in this planeta. But let me tanong you this, what uri of a person na may pinag-aralan will have an outburst like that in public?

Or maybe you’re a distant kamag-anak of Annabelle Rama, aren’t you?

If that’s the kaso, then I’m not gulat na if you made arte like that in the LRT Station. It’s in the blood naman pala. You know what, you amaze me. Your uri talaga deserves to be written in history books, So long ago nag-exist pa ang Katipunan and the rebolusyon, but you still have the sugod-mga-kapatid attitude in you. You go, girl!

But no, I’m not making papuri to you, ha? Don’t get me wrong. I’m just making sabi that you are so tapang to stand up for your “pinag-aralan.” I wonder tuloy where you studied, or where you are making aral pa in case you’re not yet tapos. Did you aral in UP? Kasi the people there are so tapang talaga, and we all know naman na they are all “may pinag-aralan” and so talino pa. Yeah, I think UP ka, girl. You already!

I’m just wondering what caused your sudden super saiyaning. I made rinig that you used the maling entrance to the station. If that’s totoo, then the lady guard is only tama to make sita you. Wait lang, di ba there’s like a big sign naman that you can make basa to know where you should make pasok? I thought may pinag-aralan ka? Why did you not make basa the wrong way or the correct entrance?

Hala, girl. Who’s a freaking lahyer now? Oh sorry. Let me make tama the tanong of mine. Who’s the freak now? I think, educated miss, that you make panood too many Star Cinema movies. The way you made arte kasi in public, it’s like No Other Woman. It’s so A Secret Affair! Or are you like making gaya Kim Chiu when she made break up with Gerald Anderson? You really like alam all the linya in the movie. Wow, you’re such an actress!

Wait, wait, let me try. “Ang life is like a big Quiapo. It’s so eewsy, and if you’re not may pinag-aralan, you will be a lahyer! Oh my gahd, kuya, sheez a freakin’ lahyer!”

Cut! Good take!

Thank you, direk!