Why Politicos Should Make Sakay the MRT

by Sankage Steno

In support of this petition.

It’s so saya talaga to ride the MRT. Imagine, all the people make rub elbows with me because I’m rich and famous, and I really make dama the love of them. So intense! But before you can make pasok inside the train, you have to make papawis muna by boxing your way in. That way, I won’t have to make punta pa to Gold’s Gym. It’s libre na kasi in any MRT station.

I wish all the politicos will make sakay the MRT too!

I’ll make sabi all the benefits they will get if they do so. Number one, they won’t have to suffer the hellish traffic of EDSA. That’s a big ginhawa kaya. Number two, they won’t have to make alog-alog inside their posh car. You know naman our roads, they’re like the face of the moon. So uka-uka, like a face that was not Belofied or Calayanized. Eww! So kadiri to death.

Number three, it’s so mura, as in so cheap n’ya. But I’m not saying that in the most demeaning way. Slight lang. I mean, for less than half a dollar, I can go from Ayala Mall in Q.C. to Ayala Mall in Makati. That’s like something! I can make bili more bags from LV, Balenciaga and Hermes with all the money I can make tipid by riding the MRT. Affordable talaga, as in!

It’s like buying a bag of Ariel, instead of sachets! Sana nakinig ka sa ‘kin.

Anyway, here’s number four. If you, the politico, will make sakay the MRT, you will know the tunay na lakas of our people. I mean, did you see that prim and proper lady on the front car? She turned into Xena, the warrior princess, kanina while making pasok inside the MRT. She’s so powerful in making tulak and kurot the other passengers. I idolize her na nga e.

And did you see manong construction worker? That one who is making one of the skyscrapers in BGC? He is so macho. Like, I wanna hold his biceps and make dila his abs. Oops, so dyahe. Sorry. I was just amazed how he turned into Thor while making pasok inside the train. So lakas, so virile, so manly! I felt my panty making hulog by a few inches.

Buti na lang I was in my pair of American Eagle jeans and not in my favorite panlakad dress from Forever 21.

Number five, you will make kita how lumpin those illegal settlers are talaga. Those people living near Vertis North? They’re like an eyesore kaya. I wonder when they will be demolished, or when their entire community will be accidentally put on fire. You know, like Adele setting fire to the rain. If only the politicos will see them, maybe they will act agad-agad, and not just read dyaryo inside their heavily tinted BMWs.

Number six, when you make sakay the MRT, I assure you that you will make dama the warmth and hospitality of the Pinoy. Kasi, you know, even if the ride is airconditioned, it’s still so warm inside. And I think that’s because we, as a people, are really warm and friendly. That is so nakaka-inspire! And that is particularly totoo during rush hours, promise! You should make subok talaga.

And, finally, the last reason why a politico should make sakay the MRT is that they will have a pagkakataon to rub elbows with me! The rich and the famous! Di ba that’s what you, politicos, want naman to begin with? To become rich and famous like me? So now’s your chance to make tikim how it’s like to be someone like me. At least, kahit in the MRT only, you will truly feel blessed.

Oh, and while we’re at it, how I wish din that your sons and daughters will also make sakay the MRT. Even better, don’t enroll them in exclusive, international, English-Only policy schools. Mas better if you will like make pasok them in a public school, like U.P. You know, the University of the Poor.