Krissy’s MRT overrides Jeane’s Porsche

by Sankage Steno

I hate to make sabi this pero I kinda like what Krissy did last night when she made sakay to my favorite ride on the planet: the MRT. I know naman that it’s not so orig a gimik since Anne Curtis already made sakay the MRT before. It’s not bago anymore. But seeing my kind, the same species that I am, riding public transport? Golden!

Pero I kinda feel inis din kasi it’s like, parang, so big a deal for someone like Krissy to make sakay the MRT, e it’s normal lang naman for Pinoys to do that. Why the fuss whenever a rich and famous person made sakay that public train? Is it because it’s not araw-araw that we see a celebrity making gawa that? Or is it because we make isip that celebrities are not supposed to mingle with the mababang-uri like you?

Siguro next time I’ll picture myself inside the MRT and make lagay that on Instagram so I can be sikat din like PNoy’s sissy.

But it’s so nakakainis, ha, that we make kalimot the cause of Krissy’s magnanimous act last night. We’re so ulyanin talaga. We did not make alala that it’s because of the traffic jam, which is made dulot naman by the flooded kalsada. If only we had a magandang sewage system, we won’t have to make danas the baha. But then we also won’t see Krissy on the MRT. How sad naman.

Imagine if our kalsada is so kinis and so ganda like my face, we would all be making gamit the EDSA like it’s the NLEX. We might even make kita the Porsche of Jeane Napoles. You know her? That imeldific daughter of porky queen Janet Napoles?

Ugh, she’s so peke! She’s not even rich talaga like me or Krissy. It’s her mama who is filthy (uhuh, as in madumi) rich, not she! She and her piggy mama (and the pulitikos) used our pera that’s intended sana for our roads, for the public trains, for pagpapaaral to the poor, for kalusugan, for peace and kaayusan and for so many, many pa.

The nerve of her to make bili a posh apartment in the United States using our tax? And the extravagant party-party with her homies in Hollywood? Or the bags and dresses from signature boutiques? She made sabi pa, “Mom, sissy and I wiped out the Celine store.”

I want to wipe your ass with your mukha, honestly. As in!

Oh my gosh, Jeane! I feel like making salaksak to your throat the takong of my Prada. You want me to make sakal you with the strap of my Balenciaga? Or baka you like to mumog my Chanel, together with the bottle? That’s my money kaya! You’re using my pera to make bili all your luho! That’s so not nakakatuwa.

I can make palampas Krissy’s pa-cool act yesterday, pero I really cannot stomach the kakapalan of this Jeane. She acts like we’re on the parehong level. Duh! As if. All my kayamanan is legal. I made pakahirap to obtain all of it. I even make sakay the MRT everyday to go to my trabaho so I can be so yaman. You know kasi, the secret to being mayaman like me is to earn more and make bili less.

Krissy is fine, ‘coz she worked hard naman to earn her pera. But not Jeane! She likes to splurge like there’s no bukas. To think that her pera comes from the tax that we make bayad religiously to the gobyerno. Nakaka-irritates! I wish na lang talaga that the MRT will make durog all the bones in her body one day.

Or better, that she be stripped of her balat while she’s still humihinga, so I can ask my paboritong designer to turn it into a wallet. So brutal ba? Sorry, pero my royal blood is kumukulo talaga. I think if Krissy will make sakay the MRT everyday, she will make dama the same way, too. Try mo kaya?