We Have A Mall Na In UP

by Sankage Steno

Oh-my-G! It’s here na! I can’t believe it talaga. Who would’ve thought that UP will have its own mall in the loob of its rustic and rusty campus? This is kinda amazing, ha. My beloved university is really making pasikat again after two downfalls recently. You know, the runner-up finish sa cheerdance competition and the Solis plagiarism thingy.

In case you’re not maalam with what’s happening with the number one pamantasan in the whole Pilipinas, let me make sabi to you that the UP Town Center is finally bukas na. No, it’s not the UP-Ayala Technohub! That’s sooo 2000 and eight pa kaya! This one is bago. It’s totally different, so iba!

You know naman ba where in the campus this is located? No, it’s not at the Shopping Center. Yeah, I know, it’s so bulok na. I thought nga they would make giba that place for the new mall. I was expecting pa naman for that condemned tindahan to vanish like a bula. But no! I was mali pala. It’s not there where they decided to put the UP Town Center. It’s somewhere else na mas posh… like me.

It’s in Katipunan, where pa ba? The place to be for the alta-sociedad people like yours truly. To think that it was named after the org of those poor people who made laban against the Spaniards. You know, the likes of Bonifacio and his gangsters of out-of-school barkada?

It’s so galing how things have changed. I bet Bonifacio would be so saya to know that Katipunan and Fort Bonifacio (or Bonifacio Global City) are so maunlad now.Β It’s a far cry talaga from the Katipunero’s humble beginnings.

With the newly bukas na mall, I can now get my hair and my nails done without going to Trinoma or Tomas Morato pa. I can just make maneho my Mini Cooper a few meters from my condo and, voila, andu’n na me agad. I also don’t have to make punta to Technohub to have my caffeine and sugar fix. For sure naman there’s a Starbucks and a J.Co at the UP Town Center, di ba?

I really have to make pasalamat to the Ayalas for this blessing. If not for these Spaniards… oops… err… Spanish-decent Filipino business tycoon, we won’t have those sobrang gandang 360-degree malls in the country. We would only have those Chinese-owned… oops… err… Chinese-decent Filipino-owned malls that make you feel like you’re nasa loob of an ataul.

That is so not posh!

Wait, what? Aura, you say? As if! That’s still mukhang coffin kaya, only bigger. Just look at that tall structure attached in the gilid of that mall. It’s like a headstone! Or a white lapida!

Anyways, that’s not the point naman. I don’t care about the other malls in the metro kasi nga we have one na naman in UP. Now I can make tambay to a place that’s airconditioned but not crowded with mediocre-minded people.

I just hope those students from that dictionary-sounding college and that big-blue-bird university nearby won’t be so mediocre.