Date someone who’s like me

by Sankage Steno

Instead of dating someone that you really, really, really like, date someone who’s very much like me. Simply put, date me.

There are a billion reasons why you should date someone like me, but I’ll be less brutal and offer you just a few.

Forget about Thought Catalog or Elite Daily or BuzzFeed or other blogs out there claiming to know everything about dating, let alone the person that you should be dating. Since you’ve gotten to this part already, continue reading and let me convince you Sankage-Steno style.

Date someone like me because…

  • I ride the MRT.
  • I read books.
  • I travel.
  • I can cook.
  • I have a semi-dadbod.
  • I have a pompadour-undercut hairstyle.
  • I wear my perfume light.
  • I’m a dork.
  • I’m a nerd.
  • I’m a hipster.
  • I graduated from a reputable university.
  • I can sing.
  • I can dance.
  • I can hug like a bear.
  • I’m good-looking.

Enough already. These things you can easily get from anybody, anywhere, except Tinder (or Grindr). Or maybe I’m mistaken. Moving forward, here are some more serious reasons why you should date someone like me (or, pardon the repetition, why you should date me instead)…

  • I’ve been fuckin’ hurt so many times yet I don’t give a fuck.
  • We can fuck each other all fuckin’ night long.
  • I believe that fucking is the best medicine.
  • I can fuck your pain away.
  • You can fuck my pain away harder.

Still not convinced? Fuck you.