Biased mo mukha mo

by Sankage Steno

Kaya n’yo lang naman sinasabing biased ang ABS-CBN dahil nagalingan kayo kay Mar Roxas sa #PiliPinasDebates2016 kagabi. Kahit di n’yo aminin, obvious namang natameme kayo sa ipinakitang kahusayan ng iboboto kong presidential candidate.

Palibhasa kasi, walang alam ‘yang manok n’yo kundi pumatay at mang-rape. Buti pa, bigyan na ‘yan ng Jet ski at ipatapon sa Spratlys para magpabaril sa mga Tsino. Hala, sige, ibigay ang hilig. Gusto palang maging hero, di agad sinabi. Sana naturuan kita ng mga alam kong ninjutsu, taijutsu at genjutsu.

Kayo kasing mga death eaters ni You-Know-Who, punung-puno kayo ng cognitive dissonance. Kayo talaga ang biased d’yan sa paniniwala n’yo. Bakit nung naglabas ng ABS-CBN-commissioned survey ang Pulse Asia, di n’yo sinabihang biased yung nasabing TV network? Kasi pabor sa kandidato n’yo.

Edi cognitive dissonance nga. Cognitive bias.

Pinipili n’yo lang yung gusto n’yong katotohanan. Kapag kontra na sa paniniwala n’yo, sasabihin n’yo agad biased, di totoo, bayaran. Kayo talaga, ang sarap n’yong pagkokonyatan. Paisa nga.

Ang galing naman kasi talaga ng manok ko kagabi. Bukod sa pinaghandaan ang debate, hindi rin uminit ang ulo n’ya. Cool, calm and collected, ika nga. Alam na alam n’ya yung mga proyekto at polisiya ng gobyerno. Bukod pa d’yan, alam din n’ya yung mga gagawin kapag naluklok na s’ya sa pwesto.

Di tulad ni You-Know-Who na mangongopya lang daw. Putek ‘yan.

At napanood n’yo naman siguro yung tapatan nina Miriam at Mar kagabi, ‘no? Ang galing, di ba? Kami nga sa Luneta, panay na ang palakpak, lalo pang lumakas ang palakpakan at sigawan dahil sa napakahusay na sagot ni Mar. At, kung napansin mo, may maliit na ngiti sa labi ni Miriam.

I’m pretty sure na-impress din si Miriam sa kanyang colleague sa Senado.

Let us relive that golden moment from last night’s debate:

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: I believe that there are three requirements for a good president of the Philippines. Number one, academic excellence; number two, professional excellence and number three, moral excellence. Can you give me at least three examples of each kind of excellence that you have?

Sec. Mar Roxas: My academic record is quite clear. I did graduate from the Wharton School of Business. The best – one of the best business schools in the entire United States and I have accomplished that. My diploma is up on the wall for anyone who wants – wishes to see. With respect to professional excellence, I’ve had – we have worked together in the Senate. We have defended treaties, the JPEPA being one of them. I have been both an interpellator to yourself as well as you have interpellated me. And I think you would be the best judge as to my capability in understanding the issues particularly complex as they may be. And lastly, moral integrity. I think that my record, 23 years in public life, not once having been connected to any kind of anomaly speaks for itself. Walang mantsa, walang bahid na paninilbihan sa mahigit dalawampung taon na pagsisilbi. The most important word that a public servant has, is to say, “No”. No to temptation, no to offers, and no to even the seeming inappropriateness of certain acts.

At may follow-up pa ‘yan. Dito ko nakita yung pag-glow sa mata ni Miriam (O baka cognitive bias ko lang din ‘yon? Hihi.) dahil alam kong pareho sila ni Mar na may maganda at malinis na track record. Basa!

Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago: In all these years, have you – you have been shaped by the elitist background from which you come and which you operate. Do you not think that the path has been too narrow to be able to be President of the Philippines?

Sec. Mar Roxas: As Batman said, “It is not important how you came into this world, what is important is what you did with your life.” And my life over the last 20 years has been a public record. You have been witness to many elements of my life as we worked together in the Senate, fighting for cheaper medicines, fighting the banks and the – and the insurance companies for pre-needs protection for our people, fighting for economic opportunity through the JPEPA and other economic treaties, fighting for what is good and what is right. My record stands for itself. It is not a question of how I came into this world, it is what I did with my life and how I dedicated my life to help my countrymen.

And to quote He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named: I rest my case, Madam moderator.