Yaya’s Happy Meal

by Sankage Steno

I was at Balesin last weekend for my vacay and, I swear, it’s so ganda there. I arrived just in time for lunch. I was planning to make palit muna in my presidential suite, but then I smelled the food there in the dining pavilion and it made me feel gutom agad. It’s so bango, like, sobra talaga.

And so I went. I made lakad to the dining pavilion even though I was still in my fiery red Manolo Blahnik stilettos. It’s kinda hirap kaya to make rampa on that island, but I managed naman ‘coz I’m sanay na with high heels.

Then from afar, I saw this pretty woman making away the manong who was serving food behind the buffet table. I made lapit so I can make dinig what the fuss was all about, and then it became clear to me na. It was the name of the pagkain pala. She was kinda windang to the highest levels ‘coz of this so-called yaya meals.

At first, I didn’t mind. I mean, it’s no biggie. Just a meal for the yayas lang naman, di ba? At least nga they serve decent food to the yayas there who were so maswerte to make tapak to that beautiful island. To begin with, I’m sure these yayas won’t be able to make punta there on their own with their meager sweldo. They should make pasalamat pa nga to their amos for bringing them.

I mean, look at me! I didn’t bring my yaya kaya. I just left her in our mansion so she can make ligo in the bathtub all day long and make panood whatever she wants in our 256-inch AMOLED TV while I’m gone. Promise, I turned off the CCTV.

Kaya lang, when I opened my social media accounts, this certain Maggie was trending already. I don’t know how she managed to post her galit and all while simultaneously harassing the staff. Anyways, when I read her reklamo, I saw her point, but the point was so liit. I’m telling you, she’s right with the discrimination stuff, pero I think the one discriminating talaga is she.

It’s because she thinks so low of yayas that she made isip that the meal was pangmahirap. It’s not kaya! And even if it is pangmahirap, so what? It’s still masarap.

What’s so mali ba with the yaya meal? It’s kinda cute kaya. And when I saw the food, it’s well presented naman.

Just to be sigurado, I ordered one for myself. I made tapon my Manolo Blahnik and my Lugano Diamond Sunshades first before I ordered so I would look like my yaya. Finally, I had one na. And, gosh! The moment I tasted it, I felt my vacay was complete na. It’s so sarap talaga, especially the daing na bangus.

I swear, it’s much better pa than what they serve to the not-yaya. The not-yaya meals were bland and full of damo, and they’re so mahal! Imagine? Just a little piece of fish fillet with little green damo and stuff and it cost me P850 already? No way! After that, I stuck to the yaya meals. So sarap talaga.

Anyway, I did not make sali pa to their away. I just made sulat a note to the manager of Balesin. I said, “Why don’t you just make palit the pangalan of yaya meal so there’s no more gulo? Why don’t you call it Yaya’s Happy Meal na lang, di ba?”

And I made lagay a smiley at the end of the note just like this: 🙂